Why I’m Not “Good People”

Jenny's Library

I’m not a nice person.

I’m not a good person.

I’m not a kind person.

This isn’t to say that I don’t ever try to be any of these three things.  I do, especially the last two.

It’s more to say that, for me, surviving in this cissexist, racist, ableist, heteronormative, classist, often fucked up world of ours has involved rejecting the idea that “good” and “bad” are static states of being.  I will never be a “good person” because, to me, “good” is not something that you achieve.  It’s an ongoing process that never ends.

It is, in fact, almost impossible not to be doing bad things as well as good when you are human and therefore flawed.  Especially when you are part of a messed up system, as we all are.

This, to me, is why it’s important to call out bad behavior, or hurtful language, or even…

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Consent: Not actually that complicated

Love the analogy

rockstar dinosaur pirate princess

http://kaffysmaffy.tumblr.com/post/780535517 http://kaffysmaffy.tumblr.com/post/780535517

A short one today as my life is currently very complicated and conspiring against my preference to spend all of my days working out what to blog. But do you know what isn’t complicated?


It’s been much discussed recently; what with college campuses bringing in Affirmative Consent rules, and with the film of the book that managed to make lack of consent look sexy raking it in at the box office. You may not know this, but in the UK we more or less have something similar to ‘affirmative consent’ already. It’s how Ched Evans was convicted while his co-defendant was not – and is along the lines of whether the defendant had a reasonable belief that the alleged victim consented. From the court documents it appears that while the jury felt that it was reasonable to believe that the victim had consented to intercourse with the co-defendant, it…

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Contradictions are part of life.You cannot expect everything to go your way.This explains why we have divorce hearings, workers strikes etc. Someone once told me “Be a good listener”. In this life of mine, I have witnessed many fights: some between touts as I wait for a matatu at my stage, funny girl fights and mostly between drunkards. I can say that all these fights could be avoided if one party could just stop/pause, think, listen and be ready to compromise.
I think if there had been a little dash of contradiction among the Gadarene swine, some of them might have been saved from drowning (Matthew 8:28). One of the things I vowed never to do is watch the Manunited-Arsenal games in a pub.Those ones you just see a bottle flying from one corner to another and just like that the game becomes unwatchable.
The society we live in is an extension of ‘the individual’.The most we can hope to do with a problematic individual psyche is to reform it. That is why we have prisons and before one is jailed there has to be a trial and proof beyond reasonable doubt or rather on a balance of probabilities that one has commited an offence. I wouldn’t want to get into all that right now….its tiresome to process.
This reform how does it work on a basic level?? One can only hope to rearrange some details in the periphery of the human personality. In reforming someone, you reform him/her around what he/she is….his/her core of reality; not around an intellectual abstraction.
Ever asked yourself why do people go to rehab?? The obvious answer is to get better or to quit being an alcoholic/ drug addict. This is just part of the answer. I think this alcoholic or drug addict must have found meaning in life; he or she must have realized there is something worth fighting for and this feeling overshadows the need to get high for a few hours only to feel miserable later.

Kasemaas first

Well, whats on my mind?? The answer is not that easy..Ooh!! wait…The happy new year vibe.If I could, I would use this all the time. You know those people you meet and you have nothing to say to them especially now as the year commences well; just say ‘happy new year’ and walk. It would be rude to pass by someone you are acquainted to without saying something. I dont know, may be its a “nice guy” thing but is there anything as being too nice??? Thats a topic for another day.Happy new year….a simple wishful gesture yet so helpful.